Shocking, I Know

Happy Weekend! It was a hot day today over here in NE. I still haven't made it to the beach yet. I'm very upset about that one, I need to tan! I really shouldn't - I'm trying to stay out of the sun, but.. I can't help but love the sun!!!

Well Friday was uneventful. And I mean that. My Pilates workout that I penciled in, I got in at the end of the day. And that's ok by me! As long as it gets done at some point, it's all good! I did eat my weight in fruit salsa and pita chips that my mom made. I really love this!! My mom has outdone herself! Simple! Sweet! Delicious!

My mom made Jambalaya with shrimp and chicken as well for dinner and I helped myself to a nice plate of it. This was easy as well. GOYA (be still my beating heart..) RICE and shredded chicken and cut up shrimp. See? It's easy to cook ladies, even if you have no clue what to do!

My dessert was something that has been sitting in my freezer for a while now-


This was so yummy! A nice little dessert for the end of a hot night!
Saturday was a big day for us, me and Peanut had a lot to do! I started the day by doing a Hip Hop Abs Total Body Burn.. it burned my body, gave me a nice boost!
My breakfast to power up for the day.. yummy waffles with Raspberry preserves and Dark Chocolate Dreams PB. YUM!

Lunch was.... a salad, shocking, I know!

I tried a new dressing, Annie's Raspberry Vinaigrette- it was pretty darn good. I liked it! But... I hate to break it to you, but I ONLY had a salad because for my "real lunch" I was having one of these:

This is a caramel frappacino from Starbucks made with soy milk for an extra 50 cents. I LOVE these things, but I practically have to pawn my belongings to pay for one. But, it was my treat and was worth the trade off for "real food" for a change. And hey, it's the weekend!!
And here, my dears was my dinner! Barbecue chicken and apples sprinkled with brown sugar. I had two pieces of chicken.. it was so good! The skin was crispy and juicy at the same time and the flavor was awesome!

Well tomorrow, there is not much planned. Church, pool, pool, sun, pool, sun. I expect to get crispy and juicy like my chicken. You know, burnt and wet. From the pool!! God guys, what kind of a person do you think I am?! Anyway- have a fabulous rest of the weekend dears, I'll be blog reading soon, tomorrow night, tonight, I NEED to get my laundry done! I'm such a rockstar!!!

When I Grow Up..

I wanna repair panel boards for manufacturing plants through out the United States.

Huh? Did I just say that?? What am I talking about?? Well, today I was speaking with the leader of the repair department in my company- and we were discussing how he was retiring in a few years. We figured that his position needed a replacement and it should be me! Ha! We'll see what happens, I still have to discuss with my boss how a move to another state might affect my team here. They can't survive without me, and I might not make it to the age of 50 here. So I'll be thinking about it hard.. it's an interesting proposition, would be a lot more moolah. And you all know I need that!

So to answer a couple of questions I got. And to comment on a couple of comments. Sophia- go to a matinee! We went at 2:20 and the movie only cost $8.00 for each of us, plus we went to a gas station near the theatre and spent four dollars on candy :)
But hey, you just got back from a 6 week adventure in Asia, so, that beats the movies any day! Haha!
Biz- nutritional yeast TASTES like a powdered version of nuts and cheese. No seriously, it's a wacky way to describe it but it really does. It's not bad and it has a ton of vitamins in it- some I am seriously lacking in, so I try to sprinkle it on a few things a week to get that in there. Why did I put it on my salad though??? After choking it down, I asked myself the same thing!! *shudder*

Well today's eats and actions weren't too bad! I got up early and did yoga, that was nice and stretchy! It felt really good to do that! I'm definitely doing it tomorrow morning too.
My eats for the day mirrored the usual all the way up until lunch time.

Salad! WHAT NOW??? You guys must be thinking I'm sick! No, I just don't want my salad mix to go to waste.

I topped it with some of the above dressing. Lauren suggested that I needed some decent dressing. I must be the only person out there who doesn't really love salad dressing, hence the reason it's hard to eat salad. Too much vinegar, too much garlic, too creamy. I'm not picky about most food, but I am picky about salad dressing! This wasn't too bad, I liked it, but not loved it. So I'll be on the hunt for some decent dressing this weekend for sure!

I had some rice on the side for some extra carbonation. It was leftover from my lunch on Sunday. I love leftovers!
For my dinner though?? I tried something totally different, and I LOVED IT. Seriously!
This is an Organic Bistro frozen meal. It was new and looked really interesting in the grocery store - so I picked one up to try. This meal is gluten-free and contains no milk ingredients in it, so I felt safe knowning it would end up bothering my stomach later.
I heated this baby up and went to town. The rice had a nice light flavor to it, with mangoes and a little spice. The green beans were a bit bland, but I think it's really hard to make frozen green beans taste delish. The crab cake? OMFG.. This was SO GOOD! The flavor had a bite to it, some parts of it were really spicy- but there were hunks of real crab meat in there. It was totally unexpected, it tasted homemade. For real. The whole meal did. I was blown away.


I had a meeting at church tonight so I had to eat it quick and go there! The meeting went well and I came home and chatted with my lil baby and my other big baby. Now I'm up here, trying to get tired enough to fall asleep. I worked out at 8:30- not a wise idea on my part. I am still working on my dance for a video for you all. It was WAY too hot last week to work on it! So I'm putting everything I can into it now..
But I'm off to brush my teeth and try to fall asleep! Good night all!

Wonder

Memorial Day weekend is a brief memory for me. It seems so far away, even though it was only just the other day. Anyone else have time feel like it's flying by but it's moving at a snail's pace? I suppose.. since it's already Hump Day - the week is half over and I shouldn't be complaining! But I realized that I never posted anyrthing from Mem Weekend.. how can I ditch you like that?! Crazy me!

So for starters, I worked on Monday.. What? That's un-American isn't it??? But it was for a good cause- I was making the OT. I realize that I don't talk about money very often- but I'm wayyyy struggling. So that one day of working, paid for one week of camp for the Peanut. And I will gladly give up a nice holiday if it means she gets a week of learning and fun and excitement. And it was NICE outside! I couldn't believe it!

Let's run down the schedule here.. Friday was the 28th- the 27th was my parents 33rd anniversary. Holy crap! And they are still going strong- even though they drive each other crazy. Well anyway, my grandmother ordered Chinese food for us.. naturally, not asking anyone what they wanted besides my father- who wants IT ALL! So nothing came that I could eat, so I picked at the rice, ate an egg roll and called it a day. My grandmother got upset- but hey- what can you do?

Saturday, I got up early and worked out.. then the Peanut and I went for a long bike ride- it was nice to get out in the bright morning sunshine. She is doing great at bike riding now- trying to do tricks and all that. Meanwhile, I'm behind her screaming STOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! OMG WHAT ARE YOU CRAZYYYYYY!!!?!??!! Mama can't afford no ER trips!!! This kid is going to have to be in a BUBBLE till she's 18! Mild stroke over and done with and we went shopping!
She needed a bathing suit, new dresses for church, and new shorts. Oh and new sneakers. Got all that and went food shopping. My favorite part of the day! We stocked up on Larabars, fruits and veggies (I buy frozen veggies cuz I'm LAZY) and some new snackies to supplement the cans of tuna and big container of yogurt I have. Here are some of the goods...
(this I am dying to try!!!! I need to find some ground turkey in my freezer- all you do is add salsa, and ground meat.. and DONE! Hamburger Helper.. but GF and DF style.. Yay!!!!!)

I picked this up cuz it was on sale.. I'm not sure I'll like it because blueberries do awful things to my stomach. I'm hoping because they are not fresh I'll be ok! It just looks SO YUMMMMY!

I thought of Sarah when I saw these.. This is nut free.. and tastes yum.. It's a little on the sweet side- so I would use it in plain yogurt- I put mine in vanilla and it was a bit TOO sweet. Still- nutrition wise- this was on par..

I can't wait to try these either. What should I put on them? A veggie burger? A huge juciy hamburger? Chicken????

I think that's about it.. So let's go over to Sunday! Another celebration for my parent's anniversary! We had a cookout and had all the cousin's and siblings over. It was a fun little gathering.. tons of food to be found. Here was my plate..

I was carbo-loading.. we have chicken, beans, and Goya Mexican rice. Gotta love it! Also consumed were some chips, and lots of pink lemonade. No dessert, because the Peanut and I were on our way to a birthday party for Melo.
I won't even get into what happened at the party. Let's go with the good stuff. Or semi-good stuff.

Note to parents.... Bouncy house + 90 degree weather + 20 kids does not = FUN. It was cool for about 5 minutes. But I got some good pictures!
Lissette on the bouncy house- she had wayy too much fun!
Birthday boy. He is crabby cuz he is wearing a Yankee shirt- GO SOX! Nani- one of my nieces, she is too cute!

Well that is about it! Hope everyone is having an AWESOME week!!!!! I'll be blog reading so look for my comments... ; )

It's Far From Over

I just started and restarted this post about a million times. I can't think of words to say that will rightfully express what I'm feeling right now. I don't think there are any words to describe it. It's a mixture of relief, sadness, happiness, compassion, joy, and finally, a little peace.

Everyday it's a different struggle for me.

Everyday it's a different reason to feel down. To be angry with myself over something stupid.

But everyday I want to smack myself and say, "what the hell is the matter with you???"

Then I remember that there IS something the matter with me. And I can't fix it by myself. It can't be fixed with a pasta dinner. Or a pedicure. Or a book. Or repeating little mantras to myself. This is a deep seeded belief that I don't deserve what I have. That I don't deserve to be happy. Or thin. Or beautiful. Because what I see in the mirror is a reflection of what I think is inside. And that view is a distorted, freakish thing.

I remember meeting Charlie's ex for the first time two years ago, she is tall, thin, hair is gorgeous, skin is perfect. Her make-up was perfectly applied and her clothes trendy, new, and expensive. I literally almost passed out. Here I was, in sweat pants and a tshirt. I had showered but a ponytail held my hair back and I had minimal make-up on. I'll be honest, I was going to visit Charlie after he got arrested- so who the hell was I trying to impress? And WHO was she trying to impress?

She said, "who the fuck does she think she is? Look at her! I'm beautiful and she's fuckin' ugly. Why the fuck do you want her?"

I said nothing in reply, my face must have turned purple in shame. I thought Charlie was going to slap her though. From then on in, I was the ugly white bitch to her. And to me, I never forget words. Words are things you can never take back, even when said in a moment of anger. Charlie defended me, and has everytime she brings that day up to him- he thinks I'm beautiful. He thinks even though she's pretty to everyone else, she is ugly on the inside and I'm perfect. He is proud of me, because I'm everything she isn't. I work, I pay my bills, I'm a good mom, I have a perfect body (his words obviously), and best of all, I treat him like gold. He calls the 6 years he was living with her a prison sentence. But I remember that moment bringing back in the fear that I am not good enough. Why would he want me instead of her? I try to remember who she really is. And it works for the moment. I still get angry when I hear that he talked to her, mainly because, even after all this time, she still thinks I stole her man. Um hello wacko! NO! I'd just like to point out that C and this crazy biz-natch were broken up for 3 years when I met him!

Where am I going with all this stuff anyway? Oh yea. I really believe that one of the issues I have is not about my body. It's the reflection of how I feel about the inside of myself- coming out. It's that I'm not "enough". Enough what? Smart enough, friendly enough, good enough, popular enough, pretty enough. And when I feel not enough I turn to the only thing that makes sense to me. Beat up the vessel that carries all these human emotions, tendencies, and weaknesses around. Which is what I find alot of us do. Agree? The hardest thing to do is to believe how strong and beautiful we really are.
Wow, I can't believe I wrote that much.. I didn't mean to get so deep for a day after hump-day. I'll be working on self-reflection and learning to recognize what I am feeling and if I'm feeling that way because of some other emotion. Like am I saying I'm fat because I'm feeling sad about my friends not calling me... ever? Good plan no? Cognitive behavior therapy right here kids!!!!!!!! Change the way you think!

So I promised you food didn't I? I did.. Dinner.. and more dinner. Along with Shaun T, the sexy guy from Hip Hop Abs for dessert.


Here we have Van's gluten-free waffles with Almond Butter and Raspberry jelly. I stole three apple slices from the Peanut's plate.. haha. A smaller dinner because I had a huge lunch and a huge dinner on Tuesday night. I did end up making the rice and sausage mix. I used Al Fresco chicken sausage... holy deliciousness in a sausge and no I'm not talkin' about a man!!!!!


(my sense of humor is obviously still intact...)
Here is Shaun T up on my big screen TV. Look he's trying to give you a hug!!!!!!
I really think he's a little on the gay side, but he can be gay all he wants, as long as he's straight for me!!!!!!!!

Big plans this weekend. It's going to be sunny sunny and sunny. Tan. Tan. Tan. I need a tan! I will be bike riding. I will be running around like a mad-dog. And hopefully, heading out someplace with the Peanut. My goal is to go to Five Guys & A Burger with her, but I'm not sure that will end up happening.. maybe just for some frozen yogurt or something small like that. Let's not push it with burgers and fries!
If you are still reading after all this blabber, thank you, for your heartfelt words of support. They mean more to me than you will ever ever know. We are all in this together right?? *cue High School Musical soundtrack*. You guys rock my socks. :)

When It Rains It Pours

Does everyone remember that it's Valentines Day on Sunday? Is anyone doing anything fun with their loved one? I am not! We will be chatting by phone, remembering how much fun we had last year on V-day. I miss him so much sometimes!!!! But it will all be worth it in the long run, all this time apart.

So anyway, I'm currently drafting this on Friday afternoon. I think I should be working, but I'm not right now. This weekend is a BIG weekend for us, so expect a photo recap of epic proportions- just probably very little involving food.

What is on the schedule?
1. last night, Jessica and I went all out and partied like rock stars. I'm currently going on 2 hours of sleep.
*pinch* yep, I'm still alive!
2. Tonight is Disney On Ice at the Gahh-den in Boston. Whooooo! Santa bought us tickets for Christmas.. 6th row back from the ice. Incredible! Unfortunately, I probably will not try and sneak my camera in. I'm not sure I want to try, they might make me toss it..... wouldn't that be awful? If I did that, they would probably scoop it out of the trash and USE IT.
3. Roller skating birthday party for a dance friend on Saturday morning. I'm going to either fall asleep on my skates or die trying to skate because I'll be so tired I won't be able to pick up my feet.
4. Baby Caiden's 1st Birthday party on Saturday afternoon. Complete with a heated bouncy house, catered food, and a few clowns, maybe Barney will show up. Whatever it will be, this baby is given nothing but the best of everything
5. Recover?
6. Sleep.

Good times no?

So last night... I'd like to just say, that I'm NOT in any way tooting my own horn or trying to make myself out to be a skanky-ho bag, because I'M NOT! But when Jessica and I go out I get hit on ALOT. Nevermind I have a pretty ballin' ring on my finger. Nevermind I tell people from the jump I'm not available. These guys see a cute face with a cute butt and some boobage and forget all manners.

Put it this way, Jessica and I ended up leaving the after party from going out dancing because it was either we go, or I was going to get molested. OK???? She did manage to snag the ONLY normal nice guy who respected the fact that I am taken! Beyotch! No I'm only kidding, I'm happy, I'll be babysitting while she goes out because he's a cutie and he knows my man from when they were little. : )

Jessica said it's because I'm the lowly white girl and I have perfect blue eyes. I think it's because guys want to see how far they can get before I either cave or freak. Well, I did neither. It was quite uncomfortable though because you don't want to be a bitch. But you don't want a guy trying to kiss a shot in your mouth either. Yea gross.

All I was doing was trying to hang with the people from my dance class because in class they are COOL, PROFESSIONAL, and FUN. Last night I saw the dark side! I'm still young enough (27 for those of you keeping score) to party it up once in a while. But I don't want to disrespect my man either.

Ladies with S.O.s. Did I do the right thing by not yelling at the guy? Should I have even gone to the party? Are these problems I shouldn't worry about? Keep in mind, I RARELY drink, so someone trying to do that to me? Not cool, even if it is my man, he knows I can't handle the booze! Jessica said not to worry, the guy was drunk, will probably be in class on Monday all red-faced and shamed.. I'm even embarrassed putting it out here, but hey my parents don't read this! LOL.

OK, nevermind, I have no pictures for you. Camera at home!

Even you ladies without men can weigh in on this if you want. We can chat about jerks we've run into that makes us appreciate our fine men more. Or reinforce why the single ladies.. are still single!

***see you soon! ***

Gobble Gobble

Well happy Black Friday to all of you too! I want to say that I went shopping at 3 am with the rest of the dorks who went to Wal-mart or Old Navy. But, I was in bed. Like a lump, until my SIL called me and woke me up out of a stuffed shell and turkey and cookie induced coma. But today was a good day. Liv and I played beauty parlor, we went to Target (at 4 pm I don't like big crowds!), we hung around. I worked for a while.. but you don't want to hear about that!
You want to know what I did for Thanksgiving - right?!?

Maybe not, but hey here I go anyway!

Well Wednesday during my hectic work day I snuck out and scooped up Elisa and Lissette and brought them back to my parents house. The three girlies stayed there while I worked. They played and played and baked cookies and played some more. When I got home we went to Michael's and bought crafting stuff... here's what we ended up with.. (please don't look around the kids and peek at the mess, it's been a while since i've cleaned!)



And then we finally went to bed!

The next morning I made cupcakes! I used the GF yellow cake mix from Betty Crocker
- it smelled DELISH! I couldn't wait to try them, but first we had to frost them.


I used Cherrybrook Kitchen chocolate frosting mix that my gram picked up from Shaw's for $1.00! This is fantastic stuff!! I love chocolate frosting.. the chocolate flavor could have been a little richer, but this is a nice light chocolate frosting.
Here is what we did. I let them have fun with the sprinkles- can you tell??





We had a GREAT TURKEY DAY- turkey, stuffed shells, rice and beans (after all we are Spanish!) and some minestrone made by yours truly!

And for a peanut-free dessert.. we ate this little guy..

OMGICANTBELIEVEHOWFREAKINGCUTEHEIS...... *ugh* i just melt everytime I see him!! Love you Melo!

Remember The Time When?

Yay!!! Another Wednesday over and done with! Here I am stuck in bed slaving away! We had today off at work however they did ask for a skeleton crew to come in and cover the phones. Say WHAT?!! I did not bite on that one, I was desperate for a day off. But I did promise to log in on the laptop and work at home to help. So when I logged in and saw 12 phone calls waiting in our call queue; I did something I have never done before. I switched my phone line over to my house phone.... and took work calls from my couch. While watching Hannah Montana. OH JOY!!! It was pretty funny. Olivia started getting pesky and I had to shush her. Then my grandmother came over and started complaining about something- my customer I had on the phone then asked me, "are you at home?".. "why YES sir I AM!". It would have been hysterical...if only it wasn't work! After I'm done here I'll be working some more. But I'm not worried, OT is a glorious thing!
So the first half of my day was spent walking on the treadmill while watching The Proposal (SOOOOOO FUNNY! Loved it!) Then I showered up and headed to Qdoba with my little sister and Olivia. She is an avid story teller and sometimes we just sit there and laugh.. and shake our heads.. and wonder what she's talking about!



(sheesh I didn't realize how frumpy her hair looks.. poor kid!)
Oh I didn't take a picture of what I got: Grilled Chicken Burrito w/ Fajita Veggies, hold the sour cream and cheese. I ate a few bites of the burrito to save my stomach the agony... now.. but it was SO good! The burritos there are HUGE it was the size of a small loaf of bread!
Then we went to Payless where I took advantage of the BOGO shoe sale they were having and went to TOWN. Well not really, I got a new pair of nice suede-ie boots- love them! What was the second pair half off? Tap shoes for Olivia! She has been taking tap and she is awesome at it, I'm so proud of her! I can't wait for her recital this spring..
So when we got home and after I had worked for a couple of hours, we made brownies!
I've been dying to try these brownie mixes by Betty Crocker- they are gluten-free!!! It's about freakin' time! This discrimination against GF peeps is almost over! I read some reviews about the brownie mix on Amazon.com and figured it would be great- no bad reviews on there!

So what's the scoop? These are as easy to make as a regular Betty Crocker mix, butter and eggs are all you need. One bowl, one pan. Wow, no real mixing required besides elbow grease.
Taste wise? Spot on my lovelies. SPOT ON. You want chocolate? You got it! Look- chocolate chips!!!!!!

So I only found ONE thing wrong with these babies- you should use real butter. Which makes my dairy-free stomach way unhappy. They kind of crumbled apart when I was taking them out of the pan. I was thinking I should try adding some fake cream cheese to thicken it up, but at 6 pm I had no motivation to run out to Handnafords and get some. Next week, I will try that! But damnnnnnnnnn... look at these!

Alright before I sign off I'll give you a better picture of my lil frumpy kiddo. I got her school pictures back today and my little angel is a beauty!!! I cou!ldn't scan it in, but here is a "snap" shot!

Busy Beavers..

Well the week is almost over.. ok not quite but hey.. we are getting there! I think this might be the fastest weekend round-up ever! So here we go:

Things We Learned Over The Weekend/Week

1. It's fantastic to be a part of history.. getting a picture in front of a Cal Ripken statue before it was stolen..

2. Never let your man's ex-mother-in-law buy food for you.. or she will buy the shittiest cuts of meat ever. (Don't ask me why she did- it's a sore subject!) Looked good- but was FATTY and TOUGH! Blech! At least the other part of my dinner was yummy!


3. When going to Chipotle make sure you test the spiciness of the steak before you feed it to your 7 year old. This was even too spicy for her!


Otherwise you get this.....

4. Never EVER under estimate the power of Taco Night at home.. along with some good baseball and good...action?!.. to take the stress of work away. Carlos baby we need about a month off together!



So things to chew on: I downloaded the new Jay-Z album and will be working on a routine from that.. I promise! : )

Also- the lovely Kelly over at She Wears A Red Sox Cap sent me a bloggie award last week (feels like it was last month!) and I am just getting around to putting it up! Dang it!

I love Kelly's blog because she is so down to earth and honest about finding time to keep up the healthy lifestyle while she is teaching during the school year. Plus I mean whoever loves the Sox; I love too!
I get to pass this along to a bunch of people soooooo.... but because I think all the people I would pass it to are on my blog roll... UMMMMMMM y'all can just TAKE it.. you GET IT AND LIKE IT! : )

I have nothing for you in terms of healthy eating.. I guess I've been doing better- Rebeca suggested to me that I put myself on autopilot and just do it, so I think that will be my goal: to find healthy eats and just fill up my lunch box and not leave work until my lunch box is empty. I promise it won't be full of cukes and carrots sticks.. haha. Although my old aunt picked up some GF ice cream cones, so I may be having some ice cream SOONER rather than LATER!

I will be back by Friday- I PROMISE!!!!!