Mental Health Day 1

Wow, ya didn't think I'd be back this quick huh? Well, as part of my mental health makeover, I think I should be posting on a regular basis now. Probably not every day, but almost everyday. Every other day?

Well, I thought long and hard last night about a lot of stuff and the other part of my goal is to change the way I look at things. I emailed a bunch of times with Jenny. (I think she might block me from her blog soon- all I've been doing is talking about her..lol) She had some crazy anon comments and I advised her to look at the source of these comments and make sure she is not taking it to heart.
I took a lot of things personally and I still sometimes do. I have had a lot of problems with C's baby mama and her mama. Long story short, they are no match for me when it comes to class, smarts, and wits. But I was hurt- why were they harassing me? Why were they trying to hurt me- calling me names and keeping my step-daughter away? Well, jealousy for one.
Fear, was two. And insecurity was three. But I thought they might be right.. was I what they said I was?
I'm not sure why I took everything that they said to heart- but I did. But now I know. I look at them and see jealous, insecure, and fearful people. And I look at myself and see the opposite.

So what's the long story about? Well one of my mantras is going to be from now on:

Remember the source.
When you are bothered by people and you have no idea why; try to remember that person may have insecurities that you don't see. That when they look in the mirror they may see something different. The girl who leaves random mean anon comments may feel jealous that you have run a marathon before and she has not. The guy who yells at you in the parking lot of the grocery store may have just been in a fight with his wife. The person who is harassing you may just very well be, well, crazy. And no matter what you do- you will not make these people happy. So I'm not saying to forgive all people who wrong you. But look in the mirror and ask yourself- DO I SEE WHAT THEY SEE? Remember the source!!!!

Ok, so since this is a blog about food apparently and not about mental health... I did try this little do-dab of a breakfast from Ian's Frozen Foods. A Wafflewich - Maple Sausage & Egg :)

Pros: easy to make, heat in microwave, insert in mouth; ingredients are gluten and dairy free. YUM. tasty too, I could really taste the maple flavoring in the sausage.

Cons: Nutrition facts. Very high sodium, too much fat for me to eat at breakfast time. Not that I'm a crazy person about counting calories at B-fast, but isn't there a meatless option for people to have that's dairy free too? I'm not used to eating sausage at b-fast.

Bottom line: OK for a special occasion, but too much salt and fat to make this a staple in my breakfast menu. I felt like I needed to drink a gallon of water and run a mile after eating it! Gina, I hope you read this!!! I always think of you when I look at nutrition labels and check for sodium now!
Another thing, I picked these up in Walmart the other day:

Anyone else try taking Vitamin D? I used to go tanning to be happy and sparkly during the long winter days. Three of my uncles have had bouts of skin cancer (one.. is a severe case) so C told me to embrace my roots and be white. I was cut off from tanning! But I KNOW that the sun makes me happy- all that Vitamin D... nice and warm... so I'm going to try this before I spend $$$ on anything else.. Or try to start sneaking in tanning while C isn't home to cut the brake line on my car to stop me from going.. lol
Enjoy the Day!!!!!

Two Hearts As One

Ahhhhh... sweet Monday! I can't believe it came up that fast! Did anyone else get the biggest reality check when their alarms went off this morning? Dang! I was like, WTH was that?!
But it's back to the daily fight for me! It was a hectic day for sure! What I hate the most is when the people above me hound me to do something, "its an emergency! get it done now!!!!!" Then, I report back, "in progress, I have 8 other emergencies I'm working on now too", response: "Drop everything and do it!" THEN when I GET IT DONE- no thanks??? Yea, I just saved your butt from getting chewed out and nothing? *sigh* oh how I earn for the college days where I did nothing but party all the time.
Well tonight was salsa class with Jessica. We are getting better and better! I love it! I wish I could record it, but I think the teacher would probably think I was stealing choreography or something crazy. He's a little anal! But my favorite partner that I danced with was a chubby (I can't mince words here) Spanish guy. He was AWESOME! Just goes to show even if you are not thin and "perfect" you can do it!!!! Jess and I keep telling ourselves, "if big papi can do it - so can we!" THAT'S RIGHT!
So what did I do since I last saw you all? Oh yea! I went to a wedding! Oh and Gina.. Lissette and Elisa are Jessica's two girls, and the baby Melo, is her son. So they are my nieces and nephews ; )So, where was I? OH THE WEDDING! OMG! It was so beautiful! The food! The dresses! The wedding was held at Whispering Pines in West Greenwich, RI. It is literally in the middle of nowhere. We drove into the entrance and I thought "Ohhh.. this is nice!" Then twenty minutes later I was panicking, "Where the FUDGE are we?!?!"
Here are a couple of shots of the ride in.. LOVELY!!



We get there thinking we were late because all our invitations said 4:30 and we were there at about 4:20.. we are racing to the hall where the mother of the bride says, "oh we just wanted to make sure people were on time!" THANKS MOMMA! : )
The ceremony starts- Amanda the bride looks ravishing in an eggshell halter dress with an antique lace overlay and mocha brown sash. Her hair had a braid with a side bun.. and silver snowflakes in her hair. Ohhhh she was so beautiful!
Here is half the bridal party-

I almost cried... until I saw Amanda's older sister...close up here!

See the girl with the fire truck red hair???? Yea... who does that? Who has perfectly normal brown hair and then the morning of her little sister's wedding goes out and colors it fire truck red???? That was the scandal of the night! I was shocked that her sis did not go down the aisle with a black eye too!
So enough of that drama.. Want to see what I ate?? I literally didn't have time to eat anything all day so I went to down when I got there!
App plate:

Yea crackers. No good- but man I was shaking by the time I got this plate so I would have probably eaten raw beef at this point!

Bruschetta! This was tasty, but a little soggy. Maybe if the waitress had moved around the room a little faster???

Beef Wellington! O-M-G!!!! Best I've ever had! I only had one piece but I wanted MORE!
Up next is the salad and entree- I chose the chicken. Oh holy chicken, it was amazing! I didn't care for the salad that much- one because I'm not a cheese person and two because I'm not a balsamic vinegar person. Meh- but it looked awesome anyway!
Ok, chicken.. with a light marinara sauce and cheese layered on top (here I ate the cheese). Sweet potatoes with cinnamon and maple syrup, scalloped potatoes (and not those dumb Hungry Jack boxed ones either), and green beans. OH YEA BABY. Don't think I didn't demolish this plate!


So here's where it gets tricky. I was the 7th wheel the whole night, I went with three couples (but took my own car- I'm crazy I know) and spent the whole time watching them canoodle and doodle and talk about buying houses, and weddings, and outings, and stuff. And I was there by myself. I don't have many guy friends myself and we all know where my man is at this point. I found myself getting more and more anxious as the night wore on and at one point, when someone made an off-color comment about me and I snapped and tossed my napkin at him and bolted to the bathroom where I cried and cried. It was the first night I was out since my Carlos left and I picked a wedding where I would be surrounded by lovey dovey couples?? Oh not good. I ended up leaving early and going to Jessicas' house where we downed a bottle of wine and I drowned my sorrow in booze and tears.
The next day I talked to my Carlos about it and he was upset along with me. If he were home he would have come. I know that and it would have been easier for me. But I felt awful, but my heart was pounding, I was sweating, and I could have easily tossed anyone out of my way that night. Amanda understood thank goodness how hard it was to go. That I love her for....
One last pic before I head off to bed.

My high school pals- from the left Crystal, me, Amanda, my TWIN Robyn, and Kristen. Lovely girls..

A Little Competition...

Happy Sunday all!!

How are all of you? Doing good over here! Just a quick weekend post to say hello.. then I'll be back to cooking, eating, and working out. In that order too!
So the boy and I had a date to go out to the movies but when it came time to go grab a movie it was SO nice outside I didn't want to go and watch a movie.. it was time to move this party outside!! So we went mini-golfing!

One of the many things I love about this guy is that even when I kick his butt in mini-golf he takes it like a man and laughs about it. Instead of like my ex- who acted like a beyotch during any kind of competitive sport whether he won or lost!! We had a jolly good time golfing and acting like little kids again.. I loved it! I did win btw..



After golf we went to the worlds best Chinese food joint in MA. I swear, PF Changs has nothing on this place. Quan's Kitchen!! We split an order of shrimp, teriyaki ribs, and chicken wings.. 2 helpings of fried rice later- and we both had massive stomach aches but enjoyed EVERY bite of it.

The only other thing that has been going on this weekend is I gave the Peanut a haircut.. see a difference?? I think it might still be crooked- her hair is SO thick and wavy it's almost impossible to tell if it's straight or not! But hey she's only 7 so I think she can handle some crooked hair!


Hope all your weekends are going smashingly!!!

Frustration

Okie Dokie.. here I am back again. Don't call it a comeback!
Sorry I keep ditching you all! It's much harder to motivate myself to write when I don't have my laptop ready to go 24/7 I think- I should just come home and plug it in anyway! If I am looking at the bag, I won't open it. But if I take it out of the bag, I will turn it on! There's my action plan I guess!

Well, my weekend was smashingly good! On Friday night Carlos and I went out to celebrate my birthday- we went and had some Spanish food- same place we always go to and we ordered the same thing we always order- rice and beans, chicken stew, and plantains. I ate as much as I could- I love that place and it loves me back! Except for tonight I guess! I kid you not, within a half an hour of leaving the joint my legs were absolutely covered in hives and it only got worse as the night wore on and by the time I woke up on Saturday, they were really bad! I suffered through the rest of the day with only Claritin and some cortizone cream. They kind of died down until the next day when I went to a church BBQ (yea that's right.. CHURCH!).

Here are some shots...


The kids were anxious to get in the pool can you tell?
Those two plates were mine, multiply that egg roll by about 5 or 6 and you got how many I ate! My dessert plate was also multiplied a couple of times.

At about 6:30 or so I started to get really naseaus and woozy so we headed home. I took an allergy pill and crashed on the couch barely staying awake so I could watch the Criminal Minds marathon on A&E. I never made it to work on Monday and dragged ass to the doctors office where they diagnosed me as "we have no idea what happened" (oh but I do.. please see the pictures above!!!) and gave me steroids. I feel better now though! So that is a good thing!

In other news though- my sister was dealing with a stressful situation and because she is my babysister, I stepped in to help- and then had to slowly back out because I realized I was dealing with a bully (a big fat white girl at that!) who was trying to go all tough and cool while we tried to state the facts- get the truth out. It didn't work- so my sister is pressing charges today. I'm proud she isn't backing down and I hope that girl knows it! Hmph! I guess if you look on Facebook you might be able to catch pieces of the battle... it's almost laughable in a way- but I totally felt like I had ROID RAGE. : ) Gotta love steroids!

In MORE news, I got this email from Food Buzz this morning.
Hello Amy,

How are you? How monthly compliance reports indicate the your food blog url that we have on record is “invited readers only” and therefore we are not recording ad impressions. Unfortunately we cannot allow you to be a part of the Featured Publisher program with a read only blog.
The url that we have on record is… http://whatdoieatnow.blogspot.com/
THANK YOU FOOD BUZZ FOR YOUR SUPPORT IN MY DEALING WITH A CRAZY EX-BABY DADDY!
Now I really have to figure out what to do with the blog! Comment moderation is a good idea, but I don't think B-D would leave comments, just look and see what my plans were and one of these days, show up while I'm there. I'm horrified to think of what I might do/say if that day comes. That's why I kinda didn't even want him reading it you know? Now it's really time to come up with a new name for myself and go back to public!

And in one more news front (dang I'm like the Today show!) here is what we ate for dinner last night:


It was delish! I got a cooking lesson from Carlos too- Rebeca you know what I'm talking about! Goya Adobo on everything! What was I thinking to make meat without it? Anyway we had a jolly good time last night but thank god fell asleep early! I needed the sleep!

I have something special going on tonight for you guys for tomorrow or Friday- hope you are getting excited!!!!!!