I am a duck in the pond. On the surface everything looks calm. I am aloof, serene, maybe even a little off-putting. But underneath, I am paddling away, fiercely, to keep myself floating. It's hard work...
My little feet are pushing through the water as I go around in circles around the pond. I push my head under the water for a brief second searching for food, an escape. I get nervous easily- scared by loud noises, kids, cars. When I get bothered by the other ducks in the pond I quack, flapping my wings, quack louder, push the water towards them. I quack and quack and flap my wings because I know of no other way to express my emotions.
The other ducks float off because they are scared of me. I pretend I like floating alone, but I hate it. I race for the shore where they all are desperately trying to fit in. Along the way, I see swans- with their long and graceful necks and pure white feathers. I stop and think to myself, "why do I not look like them? Why am I not perfect? Why am a short and squat.. with ugly brown feathers and this stupid huge duck bill.. it's not normal!" The swans swim gracefully away- it seems like they float on over the water, so ethereal and untouchable.
I waddle onto the shore and fight my way into the crowd of ducks eating bread crumbs, I'm so miserable this way it hurts..
Why am I the way I am? Why do I look so awful? Why do I quack so obnoxiously? Is there any beauty in me? If there is a chance for me to see it.. I want to see it now..
If you look close enough, you see something special on me that you don't see in some swans. It's under the surface, inside of me.. I have a heart. I have compassion and even though I scramble with words, get bothered easily, and flap through the water like a mad-man. Even though my outward expression seems often calm and emotionless- I'm struggling to get through it. I have a heart. Even though I am not a willowy pure swan who glides through everything. I have a heart.
I'm a duck in the water.
But I have a heart.