Friday, June 18, 2010

Duck in a Pond

I am a duck in the pond. On the surface everything looks calm. I am aloof, serene, maybe even a little off-putting. But underneath, I am paddling away, fiercely, to keep myself floating. It's hard work...

My little feet are pushing through the water as I go around in circles around the pond. I push my head under the water for a brief second searching for food, an escape. I get nervous easily- scared by loud noises, kids, cars. When I get bothered by the other ducks in the pond I quack, flapping my wings, quack louder, push the water towards them. I quack and quack and flap my wings because I know of no other way to express my emotions.

The other ducks float off because they are scared of me. I pretend I like floating alone, but I hate it. I race for the shore where they all are desperately trying to fit in. Along the way, I see swans- with their long and graceful necks and pure white feathers. I stop and think to myself, "why do I not look like them? Why am I not perfect? Why am a short and squat.. with ugly brown feathers and this stupid huge duck bill.. it's not normal!" The swans swim gracefully away- it seems like they float on over the water, so ethereal and untouchable.


I waddle onto the shore and fight my way into the crowd of ducks eating bread crumbs, I'm so miserable this way it hurts..

Why am I the way I am? Why do I look so awful? Why do I quack so obnoxiously? Is there any beauty in me? If there is a chance for me to see it.. I want to see it now..

If you look close enough, you see something special on me that you don't see in some swans. It's under the surface, inside of me.. I have a heart. I have compassion and even though I scramble with words, get bothered easily, and flap through the water like a mad-man. Even though my outward expression seems often calm and emotionless- I'm struggling to get through it. I have a heart. Even though I am not a willowy pure swan who glides through everything. I have a heart.

I'm a duck in the water.

But I have a heart.

4 comments:

  1. I LOVE THIS! I love ducks! when I was younger, I always wanted one. I would much rather be a duck than a swan! swans are mean :( they've attacked me, the little bleeders. D:

    you write so poignantly!

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  2. So so true.
    My favorite part about this is that even though you acknowledged all the insecurities that surround you (and me, and i'm sure everyone else on here) you still ended it with hope.
    love love it!

    xx

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  3. wonderful and genuine post :)

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  4. Beautifully written! What a great analogy.
    xxx

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